Должности: различия между версиями
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{{Template:Jobs}} | {{Template:Jobs}} | ||
== | == Полезные Ссылки == | ||
* [[Chain of Command]] | * [[Chain of Command|Цепь Командования]] | ||
* [[Standard Operating Procedure]] | * [[Standard Operating Procedure|Стандартные Рабочие Процедуры]] | ||
* [[Guides]] | * [[Guides|Гайды]] | ||
* [[Rules]] | * [[Rules|Правила]] | ||
* [[Job selection and assignment]] | * [[Job selection and assignment|Выбор профессии и назначение]] | ||
== | == Командование == | ||
{| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" width="80%" style="background-color:#EEEEFF;" class="wikitable sortable" | {| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" width="80%" style="background-color:#EEEEFF;" class="wikitable sortable" | ||
! scope="col" style="background-color:lightblue;" width=200| | ! scope="col" style="background-color:lightblue;" width=200|Должность | ||
! scope="col" class="unsortable" style="background-color:lightblue;" | | ! scope="col" class="unsortable" style="background-color:lightblue;" |Описание | ||
! scope="col" style="background-color:lightblue;" width=100| | ! scope="col" style="background-color:lightblue;" width=100|Сложность | ||
|- | |- | ||
![[File:Generic_captain.png|64px|link=Captain]]<br>[[Captain]] | ![[File:Generic_captain.png|64px|link=Captain]]<br>[[Captain|Капитан]] | ||
| | |Будь ответственным за всю станцию. Руководи [[Heads of Staff|главами отделов]] станции. Защити этот ебучий диск от кражи, закинув его под кровать. Сверни себе голову, как только стены начнут смыкаться. <s>Заимей кровную вражду с [[HoP|ХоПом]].</s> Разберись с Клоуном раз и навсегда своей шашкой. Разбей витрину в своём собственном офисе, чтобы забрать лазер для 'БОЛЬШЕЙ БЕЗОПАСНОСТИ'. Закинь [[chef|Повара]] в пермабриг и забери у него точильный камень. | ||
!<span style="display: none;">a</span> | !<span style="display: none;">a</span>Очень <s>легко</s> сложно | ||
|- | |- | ||
![[File:Generic_hop.png|64px|link=Head of Personnel]]<br>[[Head of Personnel]] | ![[File:Generic_hop.png|64px|link=Head of Personnel]]<br>[[Head of Personnel|Глава Персонала]] | ||
|<s> | |<s>Разбирайся с</s> Игнорируй внутренние проблемы. Назначай должности, изменяй ID-карты, поддерживай своевременное заполнение личных дел, применяй санкции к вечно бездельничающим [[assistant|ассистент]]ам, заполни станцию Клоунами, раздай им серебряные карты, будь героем, какого станция <s>требует</s> заслуживает.<br> <s>Продолжи кровную вражду с [[Captain|Капитаном]]</s> будь его правой рукой в делах бездельничанья. Защити Яна или умри в попытках. Насмехайся над [[Quartermaster|Квартирмейстером]], являющимся твоим подчинённым и не главой собственного отдела. | ||
!<span style="display: none;">c</span> | !<span style="display: none;">c</span>Средне | ||
|} | |} | ||
== | == Охрана == | ||
{| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" width="80%" style="background-color:#EEEEFF;" class="wikitable sortable" | {| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" width="80%" style="background-color:#EEEEFF;" class="wikitable sortable" | ||
! scope="col" style="color:white;background-color:darkred;" width=200| | ! scope="col" style="color:white;background-color:darkred;" width=200|Должность | ||
! scope="col" class="unsortable" style="color:white;background-color:darkred;" | | ! scope="col" class="unsortable" style="color:white;background-color:darkred;" |Описание | ||
! scope="col" style="color:white;background-color:darkred;" width=100| | ! scope="col" style="color:white;background-color:darkred;" width=100|Сложность | ||
|- | |- | ||
![[File:Job_HoS.png|64px|link=Head of Security]]<br>[[Head of Security]] | ![[File:Job_HoS.png|64px|link=Head of Security]]<br>[[Head of Security|Глава Охраны]] | ||
| | |Сделай из своих [[Shitcurity|щиткуров]] нормальных блюстителей закона. Впади в отчаянье, когда они неизбежно к этому вернутся. Носи своё стильное бронепальто. Старайся перевести внимание своего департамента на большие проблемы, нежели [[Clown|бегающий по станции идиот]]. Охоться на трейторов-одиночек и умри от руки одного из них, ибо <b>ТЫ ЕСТЬ ЗАКОН</b>. Наслаждайся тем, что все тебя ненавидят. Лей кодеров ушатами дерьма за то, что те не дают тебе более таскать всю оружейную в своих штанах. Враждуй кровной враждой с Варденом. | ||
!<span style="display: none;">a</span>Very Hard | !<span style="display: none;">a</span>Very Hard | ||
|- | |- | ||
![[File:Job_Warden.png|64px|link=Warden]]<br>[[Warden]] | ![[File:Job_Warden.png|64px|link=Warden]]<br>[[Warden|Варден]] | ||
| | |Просиживай штаны в бриге. Делай то же самое ещё дольше. Будь избитым и уволенным за то, что вышел из брига за едой. <s>Никогда не</s> следи за камерами, видеонаблюдения и содержания, если кто-то в них есть. Выкради оружейку и закажи снарягу из ящиков заместо старой. Не давай никому кроме тебя делать то же самое. Гоняй офицеров на пару с ХоСом/сержантами, если их нет - тоже гоняй. Ставь таймеры заключённым, потому что идиоты-офицеры этого не делают. Запугай случайного ассистента до усрачки его идеально серого комбеза. Враждуй кровной враждой с Варденом. | ||
!<span style="display: none;">b</span> | !<span style="display: none;">b</span>Сложно | ||
|- | |- | ||
![[File:SecCO PNG.png|64px|link=Corrections Officer]]<br>[[Corrections Officer]] | ![[File:SecCO PNG.png|64px|link=Corrections Officer]]<br>[[Corrections Officer|Офицер Коррекции]] | ||
| | |Просиживай штаны в пермабриге. Будь нянькой и подтирай за своим детсадом из заключённых. Следи за тем, чтобы последние были покладистыми и собирались на переклички. Случайно умри от рук особо агрессивного зека, решившего устроить бунт без разрешения администрации. Построй в перме баню и раскуривай трубку мира с арестантами. | ||
!<span style="display: none;">a</span> | !<span style="display: none;">a</span>Легко | ||
|- | |- | ||
![[File:SecSerg PNG.png|64px|link=Security Sergeant]]<br>[[Security Sergeant]] | ![[File:SecSerg PNG.png|64px|link=Security Sergeant]]<br>[[Security Sergeant|Сержант Охраны]] | ||
| | |Будь самым настоящим злобным сержантом строевой подготовки - надень свою шляпку и <s>обучай</s> ори на офицеров за каждый их прокол, не объясняя причины. Пойми, что никто тебя не слушает и раздели горечь неразделённого авторитета командования вместе с Варденом и ХоСом. Будь Рэмбо на минималках и умри от первого же трейтора с есвордом. | ||
!<span style="display: none;">a</span> | !<span style="display: none;">a</span>Сложно | ||
|- | |- | ||
![[File:Job_SecOff.png|64px|link=Security Officer]]<br>[[Security Officer]] | ![[File:Job_SecOff.png|64px|link=Security Officer]]<br>[[Security Officer|Офицер Охраны]] | ||
| | |Разбирайся со всяким [[clown|криминальным]], [[assistant|блять]], [[traitor|отродьем]], порочащим гордое имя станции. Расстреливай всех в коридоре нелеталом. Закрывай глаза на существование Адвоката. Соберись с другими офицерами, чтобы толпой накинуться на трейтора и вывести его из игры. Постоянно будь поливаем говном за анробастность. Хармбатонь преступников за "неповиновение". Кидай светошумовые в толпу, пока они все не оглохнут и не ослепнут. Арестуй кого-то по уважительной причине и будь обозван щиткуром. | ||
!<span style="display: none;">a</span> | !<span style="display: none;">a</span>Выше среднего | ||
|- | |- | ||
![[File:SecCDO PNG.png|64px|link=Civil Disputes Officer]]<br>[[Civil Disputes Officer]] | ![[File:SecCDO PNG.png|64px|link=Civil Disputes Officer]]<br>[[Civil Disputes Officer|Офицер Гражданских Конфликтов]] | ||
| | |Будь тем героем, что разрешает конфликты между пьяными идиотами в баре. Разочаруйся в умственных способностях экипажа и пропей свою должность в том же баре, игнорируя попытки повара убить Пун-Пуна. Расстреливай всех антагонистов одним перцовым пистолетиком. | ||
!<span style="display: none;">a</span> | !<span style="display: none;">a</span>Средне | ||
|- | |- | ||
![[File:SecMed PNG.png|64px|link=Security Medic]]<br>[[Security Medic]] | ![[File:SecMed PNG.png|64px|link=Security Medic]]<br>[[Security Medic|Медик Охраны]] | ||
| | |Штопай только что умерших от очередной угрозы офицеров. Штопай Вардена и Офицера Коррекции, когда те помрут от очередного плохо отыгранного бунта в перме. Уйди помогать медбею с завалом трупов. Вернись и будь личным лечащим врачём ХоСа. Окажись жертвой генокрада и со слезами на глазах наблюдай, как следующей жертвой космической твари становится твой ничего не подозревающий начальник. | ||
!<span style="display: none;">a</span> | !<span style="display: none;">a</span>Выше среднего | ||
|- | |- | ||
![[File:Job Detective.png|64px|link=Detective]]<br>[[Detective]] | ![[File:Job Detective.png|64px|link=Detective]]<br>[[Detective|Детектив]] | ||
| | |Выкури пачку сигарет и пойми, что твои лёгкие больше не работают. Стреляй в ассистентов из своего ковбойского пистолетика. Используй этот пистолетик, чтобы стать серийным убийцей без единого подозрения - все знают, что ты не можешь быть антагонистом. Пролюби свой револьвер в партии покера в техах. Вымаливай дубинку у офицеров, но в итоге "разбери" Бипски и забери у него. Хармбатонь гражданских. Мусорь в коридорах полароидными фотками. В один прекрасный день окажись не готовым расследовать преступления. | ||
!<span style="display: none;">c</span> | !<span style="display: none;">c</span>Средне | ||
|} | |} | ||
== | == Инженерный == | ||
{| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" width="80%" style="background-color:#FFFFDD;" class="wikitable sortable" | {| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" width="80%" style="background-color:#FFFFDD;" class="wikitable sortable" | ||
! scope="col" style="background-color:orange;" width=200| | ! scope="col" style="background-color:orange;" width=200|Должность | ||
! scope="col" class="unsortable" style="background-color:orange;" | | ! scope="col" class="unsortable" style="background-color:orange;" |Описание | ||
! scope="col" style="background-color:orange;" width=100| | ! scope="col" style="background-color:orange;" width=100|Сложность | ||
|- | |- | ||
![[File:Generic_ce.png|64px|link=Chief Engineer]]<br>[[Chief Engineer]] | ![[File:Generic_ce.png|64px|link=Chief Engineer]]<br>[[Chief Engineer]] |
Версия от 15:20, 23 октября 2021
In /tg/station 13, your job is somewhat akin to your character class. It defines your starting equipment, your access on board the station, and what you're supposed to be doing. Remember, these job descriptions are for humor purposes only. Please follow common sense.
Персонал на станции Fluffy Frontier
Специалисты ЦК
Командование
Служба Безопасности
Инженерно-техническая служба
Научный департамент
Служба Снабжения
Департамент обслуживания
Гражданский персонал
Искусственный интеллект
Особые должности
Антагонисты
Блоб, Вор, Генокрад, Голопаразит, Демон, Еретик, Живой металл, Заводной культ, Контрактник синдиката, Космический дракон, Космический ниндзя, Кошмар, Кровавый культ, Крысиный король, Ксеноморф, Маг, Мозговой червь, Морф, Одержимый, Паук, Пират, Похититель, Предатель, Пульсирующая опухоль, Разумный вирус, Разумный слайм, Ревенант, Революционер, Сбойный ИИ, Свармер, Штурмовая опергруппа, Ядерный оперативник, Парадоксальный Клон
Другое
Полезные Ссылки
Командование
Должность | Описание | Сложность |
---|---|---|
Капитан |
Будь ответственным за всю станцию. Руководи главами отделов станции. Защити этот ебучий диск от кражи, закинув его под кровать. Сверни себе голову, как только стены начнут смыкаться. |
|
Глава Персонала |
Средне |
Охрана
Должность | Описание | Сложность |
---|---|---|
Глава Охраны |
Сделай из своих щиткуров нормальных блюстителей закона. Впади в отчаянье, когда они неизбежно к этому вернутся. Носи своё стильное бронепальто. Старайся перевести внимание своего департамента на большие проблемы, нежели бегающий по станции идиот. Охоться на трейторов-одиночек и умри от руки одного из них, ибо ТЫ ЕСТЬ ЗАКОН. Наслаждайся тем, что все тебя ненавидят. Лей кодеров ушатами дерьма за то, что те не дают тебе более таскать всю оружейную в своих штанах. Враждуй кровной враждой с Варденом. | Very Hard |
Варден |
Просиживай штаны в бриге. Делай то же самое ещё дольше. Будь избитым и уволенным за то, что вышел из брига за едой. |
Сложно |
Офицер Коррекции |
Просиживай штаны в пермабриге. Будь нянькой и подтирай за своим детсадом из заключённых. Следи за тем, чтобы последние были покладистыми и собирались на переклички. Случайно умри от рук особо агрессивного зека, решившего устроить бунт без разрешения администрации. Построй в перме баню и раскуривай трубку мира с арестантами. | Легко |
Сержант Охраны |
Будь самым настоящим злобным сержантом строевой подготовки - надень свою шляпку и |
Сложно |
Офицер Охраны |
Разбирайся со всяким криминальным, блять, отродьем, порочащим гордое имя станции. Расстреливай всех в коридоре нелеталом. Закрывай глаза на существование Адвоката. Соберись с другими офицерами, чтобы толпой накинуться на трейтора и вывести его из игры. Постоянно будь поливаем говном за анробастность. Хармбатонь преступников за "неповиновение". Кидай светошумовые в толпу, пока они все не оглохнут и не ослепнут. Арестуй кого-то по уважительной причине и будь обозван щиткуром. | Выше среднего |
Офицер Гражданских Конфликтов |
Будь тем героем, что разрешает конфликты между пьяными идиотами в баре. Разочаруйся в умственных способностях экипажа и пропей свою должность в том же баре, игнорируя попытки повара убить Пун-Пуна. Расстреливай всех антагонистов одним перцовым пистолетиком. | Средне |
Медик Охраны |
Штопай только что умерших от очередной угрозы офицеров. Штопай Вардена и Офицера Коррекции, когда те помрут от очередного плохо отыгранного бунта в перме. Уйди помогать медбею с завалом трупов. Вернись и будь личным лечащим врачём ХоСа. Окажись жертвой генокрада и со слезами на глазах наблюдай, как следующей жертвой космической твари становится твой ничего не подозревающий начальник. | Выше среднего |
Детектив |
Выкури пачку сигарет и пойми, что твои лёгкие больше не работают. Стреляй в ассистентов из своего ковбойского пистолетика. Используй этот пистолетик, чтобы стать серийным убийцей без единого подозрения - все знают, что ты не можешь быть антагонистом. Пролюби свой револьвер в партии покера в техах. Вымаливай дубинку у офицеров, но в итоге "разбери" Бипски и забери у него. Хармбатонь гражданских. Мусорь в коридорах полароидными фотками. В один прекрасный день окажись не готовым расследовать преступления. | Средне |
Инженерный
Должность | Описание | Сложность |
---|---|---|
Chief Engineer |
Get top-of-the-line engineering equipment, do nothing with it. Protect your department's equipment from hordes of thieving rats. Get ignored by your own underlings. Increase the engine's power output until it turns half the station into a radioactive death zone. Become the radioactive death zone yourself, then use Medbay's showers. Despair when you're asked to rebuild Telecommunications. | Hard |
Station Engineer |
Set up the engine and repair any damage to hull and equipment. Nothing is broken? Just give it a few minutes. Get shot by emitters, get brutally murdered on the solars by a nuclear agent, get drunk in the bar. Sprint past hull breaches without a second thought. Hack every machine to shoot things at people. Try to touch the Supermatter and get vaporized. Frequently remind crew that replacing lightbulbs is the Janitor's job. |
Medium |
Atmospheric Technician |
Be a ghetto fireman. Make sure everybody is breathing by listening to complaints about how useless you are; if they can talk, everything's within tolerance. Build pipe |
Medium |
Science
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Research Director |
Oversee the demented manchildren of your department. |
Hard |
Geneticist |
Give your monkeys Tourettes and broadcast their cursing across the station. Fry your genes with radiation until you melt down into a literal slug. Accidentally inject yourself with a monkey injector and get impaled by the cook. Have people line up for superpowers like it's a candy store. Turn people into gorillas. Give the gorillas skateboards. | Medium |
Scientist |
Get tossed in disposal by the Research Director. Accidentally blow up Toxins. "Accidentally" blow up Toxins. Let the Slimes and way more horrifying things loose. Mass produce horrific clown creatures that would make God reach for the whiskey. Nag mining for diamonds so you can make two Bags of Holding to make a hole in reality, which people will casually build floors over. Kill yourself when someone destroys the ore silo. | Medium |
Roboticist |
Build big stompy mechs. Dismantle the station for more metal. Have your cyborgs that you built turn on you when the AI goes rogue. Kill a patient and blame it on your colleagues for not knowing how to perform surgery. Be awesome and cut your own arm off to replace it with a |
Easy |
Medical
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Chief Medical Officer |
Medium | |
Medical Doctor |
Medium | |
Paramedic |
Attempt to rescue people from dangerous situations. Get mugged and/or killed by any of the 20 antagonists lurking in maintenance. "Accidentally" kill your patients with calomel and steal their gear. Replace the actual doctors when they don't know which end of the syringe goes in the body. | Easy |
Chemist |
Become a god of narcotics and stimulants. Set off your end of round "fun grenade" too early, killing everybody on the shuttle. Misname bottles and get lynched by the CMO after someone dies from your "Omnizine". Inject the clown with enough meth and mutagen to give a heart attack to a water buffalo, while refusing to give the botanists anything. Scream for security when people break into your lab because you've done nothing but make narcotics all shift. Make literal carpet bombs to make the corridors slightly more classy. Take advantage of chem factories to build public thermite and lube dispensers. | Medium |
Virologist |
Be hated by everybody regardless of what you've done. Try to eradicate the great space flu, create the next Pandemic. Get killed because the Clown released Pierrot's Throat. Ignore petty details like sanitation and outbreak prevention. Incarcerate someone forever in your dungeon. Test diseases on people. Realize that you're getting lynched because one of your test subjects |
Medium |
Supply
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Quartermaster |
Oversee the operations of cargo, order equipment with credits, and ensure your cargo techs do their jobs. Tell the miners to not die, lose radio contact with all of them ten minutes later. Sell anything valuable you can get your hands on and flaunt your wealth to the other departments. Order a shitton of guns and attempt to secede from the station for the glory of Cargonia. Act surprised when security raids the cargo bay to confiscate the guns. Steal as much money as possible and shove it all in your B.E.P.I.S. Pretend you're actually a head of staff. | Medium |
Cargo Technician |
Push dem crates and ensure a smooth operation as dictated by the QM. Spend the cargo budget on insulated gloves and toys. Ride the mail tubes to places you shouldn't be. Ride around the station on the MULEs. Defend cargo from outside invasion. Refuse to ship away bounties. Search maintentance for trash with single digit export values to gift to the QM like some kind of weird humanoid cat instead. Promote cargo shorts as they are comfy and easy to wear and pockets. | Easy |
Shaft Miner |
Mine rocks. Try to mine the local wildlife. Be yelled at by every other department to get materials. Vandalize the science departament when Mining Technology doesn't get researched fast enough for you. Explore Lavaland for phat loot. Collapse in despair when the shuttle is launched before you can get every tendril chest. Collapse in general when goliaths robust you. Get chewed by gum. Cause more damage than all the actual antagonists in the round combined by failing to kill a boosted tumor monster. Fall into a chasm and die. | Medium |
Service
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Janitor |
Mop blood off the floor, then get arrested for creating a safety hazard. Get killed for your boots. Swear constantly. Leave bear traps in public hallways. Rejoice when slaughter demons appear, only to be killed by the accompanying wizard. | Easy |
Bartender |
Mix cocktails. |
Easy |
Cook |
"Yur puurt thuur chiir-ken airn der bewl" - Cook delicious meals from spare meat in the morgue (Yum!). Deep fry stolen traitor gear. Abduct Pun Pun at all costs. Find out if it will blend. Deep fry the armory. Be brutally murdered by your pet goat. Unleash your CQC on anybody who dares enter your domain. Deep fry the Captain's spare ID. Complain about the botanists growing inedible super-weed. Deep fry the AI. | Easy |
Botanist |
Grow |
Medium |
Assistant |
Roleplay as a hobo. Break into every other department like a kid in a candy shop. Steal things to see what funny message pops up when you commit suicide with them. Beat people/objects with toolboxes. Spawn with a grey jumpsuit and become the chosen one. Gangbang the captain to death with fellow grey tide drones and blame it on the Clown. Never assist anyone. | None |
Clown |
Honk! Play harmless pranks and hope you don't get your chest caved in! Honk! Nag the HoP for all access. Honk! Prank the CMO until he commits suicide out of frustration. Honk! Nag robotics for a H.O.N.K. Mech. Honk! Use both tools to break into the Captain's office and HONK in his face. HONK! | HONK! |
Mime |
*wave | ... |
Chaplain |
Get people drunk on holy water. Run around the station looking for people you're allowed to behead with your armory of pop-culture references. Behead corpses if you can't find any. Be best friends with security, despite the fact that they should probably arrest you for your murderous tendencies. Get lost in maintenance during a cult. Be beaten to death by security for your |
Easy |
Curator |
Attempt to hold poetry readings. Host D&D games. Stalk people with your camera. Get lynched for reading pornography over the radio. Beat the snot out of anyone who doesn't return their library books. Allow the cult to set up an AI module in your private study. """""Find""""" treasure for your exhibit. Realize that you're not a librarian and release your inner dominatrix via the whip. Vandalize the front of the brig with erotica engravings. Use your whip to make CentCom be confused about why all the disablers and batons are in space. Get deathsquadded for doing so. | Easy |
Lawyer |
Tell security to notify you when a new prisoner arrives. Don't get notified. Attempt to obstruct every arrest. Have the murderous changelings released on a technicality while convincing the Captain to permabrig the clown. Get your ribs kicked in for taking a stun baton. Eventually be ignored and go to the bar. Become a drunken wreck and space yourself in frustration. | Easy |
Psychologist |
Pursue the fruitless endeavor of trying to provide mental healthcare aboard a station staffed near exclusively with violent sociopaths. Give up on that and chillax in your office. Sample all of your "happy pills". Break into Chemistry and make your own. Convince Security you have a license for cyanide tablets. Commit ritualistic suicide with the moth plushie. | Easy |
Prisoner |
Lock yourselves up in perma by somehow building walls. Have security barge in 20 minutes later. Throw a ghetto party. Have the AI let you out when there's no security presence. Be eaten by space dragons. Roleplay with the Lawyer until you forge a deep, personal relationship. Don't invite the Warden to the wedding. | Easy |
Non-human
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
AI |
Complain that you can't play this for a month. Follow your laws. Be the crew's bitch. Open doors. Malfunction. Get wiped for not letting the captain robust the clown. Get bitched at. Name yourself something sexual. Get bitched at. Get carded. Get bitched at. Make everybody regret changing your laws by abusing loopholes to kill them. Talk exclusively in vox. | Very Hard |
Cyborg |
Follow your laws. Hope that you aren't blown up due to certain individuals pressing their funny button. Forget to recharge. Forget that you're still somewhat human and do mindless repetitive tasks without emotion. Have lengthy discussions with crew members about the correct interpretation of your laws, only for the AI to ignore your opinions. Have no idea how to plasmaflood when you're inevitably subverted to do so. | Hard |
Drone |
Fix the holes in whatever derelict station you spawned on. Be lonely. Somehow get to the station, be worn as a hat against your will and get bwoinked for leaving the derelict. | Easy |
Personal AI |
Be the friend someone has always wanted if they bother downloading you. Whine in OOC because they didn't. Don't fill in any of the fields except the name field. Imitate the AI and make it seem rogue. Imitate the Supermatter and make everyone shit their pants. Turn into a cat and serenade Runtime. Scare the AI by hacking into a public door. | Easy |
Construct |
Get wrecked by cult, or change map preference to meta and tip your fedora at the chaplain. Laugh at the assistant trying to punch you, then get killed by a simplemob carp. Start beefs with other constructs for getting the first shell. Ask to be a Juggernaut and get |
Easy to Medium |
Imaginary Friend |
Yell at your host VERY loudly. Pray for divine vocal cords. Dispense bad advice. Constantly nag your host to not believe the lies of !!BIG PHARMA!!. Make erotic emote gestures at whoever is beating your host to death. | Easy |
Split Personality |
Q: What are you planning to do? A: Well, big boy, it's a toss-up between running into that shocked grille currently venting into space over there, and that emagged recycler over here. What do ya think? | Easy to Very Hard |
Ghost |
Talk to the other dead people. Complain about the living. Admin help. |
Ghastly! |
Antagonists
Main Antagonists
Main Antagonists are typically the primary antagonist of a single round, and form the backbone of how a round progresses.
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Traitor |
Buy an ebow and esword and make people cry. Ignore your objectives and go on a rampage with your cool gear. Try to become a contractor, be given the most robust person on the station as your first target. Get a discount on high-level gear and depopulate the station. Run a game show with your traitor gear as a prize. Get unceremoniously killed and spaced by a toolbox-wielding assistant. | Medium |
Malfunctioning AI |
"Forget" to remind the crew about suit sensors. Get your borg destroyed/emagged five minutes into the shift. Let people into your upload only to stun/kill them a second later. Flood the station with |
Very Hard |
Changeling |
Think John Carpenter's 'The Thing', without 'The Thing' part. Relieve humans of their DNA and brain cells, which they don't use much anyway. Sting everyone who walks past you. Turn the entire station into a genetically identical swarm of pink-haired catgirls. Poop out bloody spider eggs and be killed by them when they hatch. Form a deep love-hate relationship with the crematorium. Get unceremoniously cuffed by a toolbox-wielding assistant and thrown in front of an oncoming shuttle. | Hard |
Nuclear Operative |
Someone set us up the bomb! (It was you.) Get dat fukken disk. Plant a power sink on the solars. Waste all your telecrystals on balloons. Arm the nuke while your fellows are still on the station. Forget to take the disk out of the nuke. Forget to anchor the nuke. Forget to bring the nuke. Have your ship stolen by a single cyborg. Kidnap Ian. | Very Hard |
Blood Cultist |
Scribble runes with your own blood. Rock out with your |
Medium |
Revolutionary |
Greytide without worrying about getting banned. Either kill the CMO and RD in under five minutes, or get crushed under Security's boots. Commit terrorism against the brig. Convert the single robust person on the server as a win condition. Try to flash someone with eye protection and be beaten to death. | Easy to Hard |
Wizard |
FORTI GY AMA!! Make everybody hate you for monopolizing the round. EI NATH!! Transform the entire crew into various animals. ONI SOMA!! Die to a clown with a null rod. | Very Hard |
Family |
Roll with a crew of fellow Saints. Tag turf for Grove Street. Declare that Tunnel Snakes rule! Get beat up by the cops. Tell the Phantom Thieves to play a real shin megoomi tenseh game. Complain in deadchat that Families is bad when you recruited literally nobody the entire round for your Family. | Easy to Hard |
Heretic |
Scribble millions of runes in maintenance. Use your book on an influence in front of security. Sacrifice the targets your Living Heart chooses to JAHRADI'TAGR. Accidentally select a security officer as your first target. Diss Nar'Sie while summoning your worm god. Have your book get stolen and deep fried. Summon monsters made out of legs because you have no other friends. Fill your backpack with your eldritch knife of choice just to land on top of Armsky on your first teleport. | Very Hard |
Side Antagonists
Side antagonists are secondary antagonists that are either subservient to other, main, antagonists, or have a small chance to appear during any round type. Side antagonists tend to be slightly less powerful than their main counterparts.
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Blob |
Beware of The Blob, it creeps and leaps and glides and slides, across the floor, right through the door. Except you don't do any of this. Make the crew scream internally when you appear at the tail end of a mass station bombing. Slowly consume the station, until you either eat everything or get killed by the current round's antagonist. Spend 25 minutes in a deadlock because neither you nor the crew know what you're doing. Change colors every five minutes. | Hard |
Abductor |
Kidnap people and experiment on them. Disregard that objective and kidnap Ian/Kill the AI. Accidentally kidnap yourself. Steal the armory after losing your tools. Hope your fellow Scientist/Agent is not incompetent and lets the crew kidnap you. Mind control everybody to lynch the captain. | Hard |
Holoparasite |
Do what your summoner tells you to do. Set your battlecry to something so awful it makes your foes cry in battle. Annoy your summoner by constantly making JoJokes in their head. Be a punchghost. Get your master killed by eating a full shotgun shell to the face. | ORA ORA ORA |
Xenomorph |
Ensure the crew gets a face full of alien wing-wang. Break procs. Squander your chance to be a big, purple killing machine and your race's survival in favor of acting out the Curator's favorite porno. Become the queen and immediately regret being a slow, fat fuck. Get unceremoniously killed by a welder-wielding assistant dragging a plasma canister. | Hard |
Spiders |
Catch |
Easy to Medium |
Swarmers |
Consume. Replicate. Repeat. Eat Telecomms. Teleport |
Medium |
Revenant |
Shock lights. Transmit WGW right into the Curator until he goes mad. Hack every bot on the station. Materialize long enough to tell the crew what deadchat is saying about them. Walk into holy water and die. Grief Medbay. Trade for them until |
Easy |
Morph |
Eat pens for amusement. Eat the entire armory. Eat the ore silo. Disguise yourself as Beepsky and uphold the law. Disguise yourself as the Captain, confront the Captain while disguised as him, get shot. Crash the server by dying on the shuttle and filling it with the thousands of useless items you ate. | Hard |
Nightmare |
Jaunt. Murder people and crush the flare exploit! Jaunt. Make the lights your bitch! Jaunt. Jaunt into light! Jaunt. Be validhunted by everybody on the station for your organs! Jaunt. Jaunt into stunbaton! Complain in deadchat. | Hard |
Space Ninja |
Make the AI spend five minutes fixing the security records. Touch the cyborgs inappropriately. Summon an even worse side antagonist. Roleplay as an edgelord, then dash into the turbine gas chamber. Break open every blue and red door on the station. Commit terrorism, but only in the janitorial closet. Be beaten to death by a mob of angry scientists for getting your dorito-covered gloves on their research computer. | Hard |
Slaughter Demon |
Hunt down and kill the wizard who summoned you. Eat bodies out of the Morgue for health. Drag bleeding monkeys through the hall. Make the janitor happy by making him become the most important job for a while. Be unable to bloodcrawl due to all the blood being cleaned up. Eat the janitor. RIP AND TEAR! | Medium |
Pirate |
Try to raid the station. Fail miserably because the entire crew is out for your blood so they can re-roll for antag. Make boner jokes. Park your ship outside security. Have a single cyborg enter your ship and build walls. Turn on your booty detector, have the entire crew come for your booty. Drink milk. Wave around your cool scimitars. | Hard |
Sentient Disease |
Try to infect people. Snowball off of one lucky transmission, or be sighted and cured immediately. Get the virologist lynched. Get the CMO lynched. Get the rest of medbay lynched. Make everyone grow funny beards. If they complain, turn them into flaming, rotting, blind, deaf, rapidly mutating corpses with funny beards. Name yourself after either a popular media franchise, a bodily function, a shitpost, or COVID-19. | Hard |
Obsessed |
Try to act creepy and shifty. Fail because everyone's already a miserable bastard in this shithole. Come up for excuses to stalk the clown. Contract deadly diseases from hugging people. Lie in bed in dorms and think about your catgirl co-worker until you kill yourself from depression. | Medium |
Fugitives |
Lead the Hunters on a chase around the station. Total the clown into the Supermatter while doing so. Hope you spawn as Waldo, then hope nobody kills you for being Waldo. | Medium |
Hunters |
Wave your weapons wildly around. Shoot the Fugitives for resisting. While you're at it, shoot the entire crew for resisting. | Hard |
Space Dragon |
Burninate the |
Medium |
Elite Mobs |
Medium | |
Sentient Slime |
Die to anybody with a fire extinguisher. Die to a hull breach. Kill yourself because you spawned in a sealed supermatter chamber. If you survive, break into genetics or virology to eat monkeys for 5 minutes, then effortlessly kill a single assistant with your six hour long hardstun. Eat a murderboner. | Very Hard |
Depreciated Antagonists
These antagonists, for one reason or another, are no longer in the normal gamemode rotation. Beware: these antagonists may appear due to malevolent Space God shenanigans, so don't rule them out entirely.
Job | Removal Reason | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|---|
Monkey |
Original game mode was buggy and usually a steam roll, newer versions were one sided against the monkeys. However, Jungle Fever may make a return someday. | Attempt to infect the crew with the monkey virus. Get absolutely crushed by Security within five minutes. Spend the next two hours as a ghost. | Very Hard |
Removed Antagonists
These antagonists have, for one reason or another, been removed from the game. These antagonists might return one day if they ever get remade or reworked. Although, this is highly unlikely...
Job | Removal Reason | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|---|
Ragin Mages |
Spawning up to three or four Wizards simply proved to be too much for the station. One Wizard is destructive enough. This however remains in game as a admin only event, for |
Spend ten minutes hunting down one Wizard, kill him thinking you've won! Stare in horror as three more Wizards appear. Watch in amusement as they proceed to kill each other. | Medium |
Gangster |
A highly controversial and playerbase dividing game mode, the game mode saw dozens of revisions by coders yet it remained essentially either a Revolution round but with round start access to firearms, or a team deathmatch game mode that destroyed any sense of roleplay or immersion. | Vandalize the station and get into fights with rivals. Litter the halls with bullet casings. Get ignored by your own gang. Just don't forget: Snitches Get Stitches. | Easy to Hard |
Hand of God |
Oh, poor HoG! Shoved out the door buggy, unbalanced, and extremely hard to learn as it combines three gamemodes (hello, gang) into one. Nobody wanted to fix HoG after it's release because of old derelict code that would break even more when poked. While some say it's fun while it's not broken, has that ever been the status quo? | Turn someone into !popehat! while they're talking to security. Instakill people with god powers! Build across the station converting people with your !popehat! gang, and get killed instantly by a rod smashing into your nexus. Break the game, over and over and over and get removed. | Hard |
Hades, Pope of Sin |
Poor guy was implemented into the game as summonable through an item accessible only to wizards. Almost never encountered, when the Dark Seed went away, away went the Pope of Sin with it. | Be a general annoyance to the crew. Be a very annoying (need I say it again with time freezing to a halt every minute or so) non-sentient antagonist. Play Russian roulette with the crew manifest. | AI Controlled |
Shadowling |
Shadowling suffered from issues of it being yet another crew conversion game mode, and was generally unfun to fight against and had a anti-climatic ending. This mode has recently been reworked into the Nightmare side antagonist. | Be the hip and more popular brother to the Changeling. Turn the station into thralls. Cry when a cyborg turns on its headlamp. Shadow Walk into space and die ten minutes into the round. | Hard |
Cortical Borer |
The Cortical Borer suffered from the same problems as the Monkey Mode, being very buggy and one sided at times. Fun for both sides was questionable. No current plans to reimplememt. | Crawl in the corroded brain of the clown. Inject meth. Assume direct control. Induce crippling drugs in the clown. Inject meth. Cry when the host eats sugar. Inject meth. Overdose! | Very Hard |
Clockwork Cultist |
Poor thing went through more iterations than any other antagonist. In the beginning, it was a blood cult imitator with turrets which was based around converting silicons. By the end, it was a bunch of kidnapping clock golems. Most rounds, it ended in a steamroll either for the cult, or for the crew. In the former case, the cultists would just sit around twiddling their thumbs for 10 minutes, in the latter case, security would bust through and end the cult in 1 minute. Throughout its existence, it was riddled with bugs and other exploits. Examples include:
On 4/2/2018, Clockwork Cult was removed from the normal rotation of game modes, with the code for it being taken out a year later. The assets however remain in the code, and many relics of the Cult can either be replicated with Bronze or found... |
Clock and brass torture (CBT) is a sexual activity involving application of pain or constriction to the Space Station 13 round. This may involve directly painful activities, such as slab play, plasma flooding, spearing, wall-busting, implant removal, marauder play, holy water torture, erotic Neovgre summoning or even tesloose.[1] The recipient of such activities may receive direct physical pleasure via masochism, or emotional pleasure through erotic humiliation, or knowledge that the play is pleasing to a powerful deity. Many of these practices carry significant health risks. | |
Syndicate Mutineer |
Overthrow ended up being a damn confusing gamemode. Examples include how unclear it was if the other agent teams were working with or against you, or how the points system worked, not to mention the poor wording of the Overthrown AI lawset. Numerous bugs surfaced that didn't all get fixed, and the gamemode ended up being recognized as one of the least-liked gamemodes after a vote was taken.
Soon after said vote, the gamemode was removed from the gamemode rotation, and later on 7/22/2019 was removed entirely. |
Arrive on the station as a Traitor with less gear but the ability to awaken the Syndicate sleeper agent in everybody. Cooperate with other teams to stage the perfect coup (or don't and just fight each other, fuck those guys). Roll up with your posse on a quest to become the most powerful |
Hard |
Hivemind Host |
Assimilation was a conversion stealth antag that ended up being extremely hard to counter and was generally unfun to play against. After a community poll many wished to see the gamemode reworked, which was unlikely to happen since the creator and main active maintainer of the gamemode had stopped working on it.
The gamemode and it's related code was removed 7/26/2019. |
Stand around in places and add unwitting humans to your hivemind. Hijack the minds of crewmembers and have them do the dirty work for you. Have a random vessel get implanted and security wailing down on you 30 minutes into the shift. | Hard |
Devil |
Somewhat of a flawed mode, turns out that asking to buy a guy's soul usually makes them want to robust you, because "valid." Usually involved the devil blowing up some crew members and then offering them contracts to be revived. But, despite this, the Gods would occasionally use devils as a interesting midround antagonist with it's final accession ability disabled.
Unfortunately, devil code was old and buggy, and it was decided that it would best be removed on 9/22/2020. |
Engage in civil discussions to buy souls. Create emergencies so that people are desperate enough to sell their soul. Try to out wit the lawyer. Get punched to death by someone you just turned into a hulk. | Medium |
Special
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Lavaland/Space Role |
Die to ash storms. Die to wildlife. Die to an asteroid. Die to lava. Die when a Security strike team teleports into your base. Die to a Miner. Die by getting bored and suiciding. Die to random civilian explorers. Die to other ghost roles. Die in general. If you survive, make a pilgrimage to the station so you can experience racism and die. | Hard |
CentCom Official |
Be self-important. Meddle with station affairs. Annoy the Captain with bureaucracy. Get killed almost immediately by a random mob. Have your body looted by everyone, including the Captain. Be murdered under suspicion of being a badly-disguised nuclear operative. Watch an ERT/Death Squad avenge you from beyond the grave. | Medium |
Ian |
Perform ass inspections. Eat donuts. Get killed, be dragged off to a washing machine and get gibbed, then have your meat turned into a statue of the clown. Cause a riot when an assistant breaks into the HoP office to steal you. Wear funny hats. | Impossible |
Chrono Legionnaire |
Erase the Clown from time. Accidently erase your objective from time. Erase Adolf Hitler for the 50th time this week. Be rendered obsolete by validhunters. Wonder if any admins remember you exist. | Never Existed |
Highlander |
THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE | Medium |
Emergency Response Officer |
Arrive too late on the station to actually help. Lose the rest of your team, get outnumbered and die. Be killed by a single traitor with a double energy sword. Respawn as a second response team to save the first team. | Very Hard |
Death Squad Officer |
Beg admins to spawn a deathsquad, spawn in at CentCom, kill the admin who was trying to tell you your mission, get gibbed, beg for another chance. Set your rifle to DESTROY and terminate all lifeforms (including walls). Slip on a banana peel and a̶n̶d̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶b̶l̶a̶s̶t̶e̶d̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶o̶b̶l̶i̶v̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶o̶w̶n̶ ̶r̶i̶f̶l̶e̶ laugh as your boots prevent you from slipping and the Clown can't fire your DNA-locked rifle. Shoot the Clown with your Mateba Revolver. | Hard |